Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
