If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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