Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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