she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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