Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
you didnt know i had herpes?
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
