Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
