I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Randomize
