Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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