she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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