we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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