she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
