Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
