dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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