he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
