i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
