garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
