You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Randomize