i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
