That's intense
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
