like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
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