sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
