At least make sure they are 18
Why
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
