why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
