did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You can't motorboat a personality
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
