If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
