i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
