Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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