i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
