Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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