why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
