so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Randomize
