i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
