i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
