dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
