I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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