Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
