What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
