is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Randomize
