This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Randomize
