you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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