OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
