Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
