you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
