But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
