I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
