3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
