The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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