If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Can I color on your dick again?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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