My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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