I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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