I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
