i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
