Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
