I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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