Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
