ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
