went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
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