So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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