I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
