I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
