Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
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Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
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You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.