The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Everclear isn't food dammit