I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response