I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
