whats a polygalesbian?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?