i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
its not stalking. its research.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
