I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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