toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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