At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
