Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
